So in the past few days, girly thoughts have entered my mind from time to time (and they don't seem to leave).

Luckily the thought of bambinos still scares me - but that doesn't change what's entered my mind in the past few days.

I wish I could blame a lack of home work on these thoughts - but the reality is that I seem to be distracting myself with these thoughts, and have plenty of work to do to keep me busy.

I can't say what started this rush of girly-ness. But it's started, and doesn't seem to be stopping (god help us).

( Cut to save your friend page from too much girly bits )

Arizona - Fuck you for voting for the ban of gay marriage by a current rate of 56% to 44%.

Arkansas - Fuck you for voting to keep gay couples from adopting children by a current rate of 57% to 43%

California -

Colorado - Thank you for voting down the new definition of when personhood starts

Florida - Fuck you for voting for the ban of gay marriage by a current rate of 62% to 38%

Michigan - Way to go on passing medical marijuana.

Missouri - Thank you for voting to require state to produce 15 percent of its electricity from clean energy by 2021

Minnesota - THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for passing the sales tax amendment to help fund my JOB.

South Dakota - Thank you for voting down the abortion measure

Washington State - Thank you for voting to support doctor assisted suicide. Though I still do not think of it as "suicide".

"Liberalism wins in the long run"

"Oprah is in the area"

Nation: Thank you for believing in Bambam.

On the recommendation of the boy (and some motivation to never have him repeat the same recommendation to me again) - I worked on "branching out" today. Went to buy my chai latte at the B&N cafe (with a gift card that just doesn't seem to run out... we don't know how much money is on it - all we know every day is that it's "more than $5 left on it") and ended up going past the college democrats/students for bambam table - talked to a guy there and apologized for having already voted. He was ok with that idea (and the concept of Franken for senate) and got me to sign up to help them out with stuff and to poss. go watch the debate tomorrow night.

See, I can branch out - it just takes some political motivation, and the right people working the table to get me to do it.

Speaking of political motivation -
Should you be in a bind and need to know how to vote, one option is to look at the list of endorsements each candidate has received, particularly those from musicians - select the person who has the better play list potential. And just in case you need some numbers:

Bambam - 124 musician endorsements ranging from Rap (50 Cent, Usher, Sean Combs/Puff Daddy/P. Diddy/Diddy), Soul, Country (Merle Haggard, Kris Kristopherson, Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, Etc), Jazz (Squirrel Nut Zippers), Rock, "Punk" (Green Day, Good Charlotte, Etc), Radio Favorites (Goo Goo Dolls), "Indi/Emo" (Death Cab, Wilco, Etc), Classic Rock (CSN&Y, GD, Springsteen, Etc), and many others.

Maverick - 3 musician endorsements. These are from: Pat Boone (1950s covers of African American R&B - "Ain't That a Shame"), Daddy Yankee (Latin Grammy Winner, Puerto Rican reggaeton), and John Ondrasik (Five for Fighting).


Needless to say, one has a far larger music library - thus why the "Go Bambam Go" mix is currently at 433 songs and no where near done.

No matter who you vote for this year, just remember to do it.

A running synopsis of things heard on The Tyra Show today.

Babies and baby-bumps are fashion accessories

Babies will get your ex-boyfriend back (and keep your 15 year old boyfriend with you)

Tyra: "Why do you want to have a baby?"
Kid (14): "Well, I love kids, I'm around them a lot so I know how hard it is to change their diapers, and feed them and take care of them. That and I think baby showers are fun."
Tyra: "Baby showers... They are about 2 hours. You want to get pregnant for a 2 hour long party, a moment? You could just as well have a birthday party."

Tyra: "How much money do you think it takes per year to raise a baby?"
Kid (14): "Thousands"
Tyra: "Give me an exact number - how many thousands?"
Kid: "7?"
Tyra: "Try 4 or 5 times that much. I think you got a lot to learn"

In an effort to get pregnant - a 14 year old has had sex w/ 3 boys with "sometimes protection"

Tyra: "Are you trying to get pregnant now, meaning unprotected sex"
Kid (14): "Kinda yeah".
Mom: "Not any more"

Tyra: "You just spoke of having two abortions like you had a ham sandwich and a soda yesterday."

Tyra: "You thought it was the flu, but it was a miscarriage? Does it even feel like the flu?"

Tyra: "How much money do you think it takes per year to raise a baby?"
Kid (13 - who is 4 months pregnant): "Do I have insurance?"
Tyra: "How much?"
Kid (13): "12 thousand."
Tyra: "12 thousand, to raise a baby and pay your rent?"
Kid (13): "Oh... I didn't think about that."

"I trust him because I've known him for two years before starting to date him" - about new bf who isn't baby-daddy.

"I was looking for the guy to have a baby with" "I thought I would get welfare, and there is a thing in my state - legal aid - to get an apartment and pay for things. I could still go to school, and take the baby there. I thought it would be nice to be out on my own and not have any rules." - Kid (16 and 7 months pregnant) - if she could do it all again, "I wouldn't have gotten pregnant at all"

Tyra: "I'm shocked that nobody has brought up disease... Do you guys ever think about disease, you say he didn't use a condom because you want to have a baby. Did you ever think about dying?"

Tyra: "You guys say it was a heat of the moment thing, like it's an oops, but it's a lifetime oops."

Tyra: "I'm going to be really honest right now - A lot of you guys sound stupid. You sound dumb... You guys are not playing with a full deck right now because you are just dumb teenagers."



Wow... These kids are dumb. I realized that kids are stupid, and fully admit to doing some dumb things in my life, but wow - these guys are just far dumber than I realized was possible.

Fall is not quite upon us - but I have rediscovered the wonders of the smells of fall. Yes, the smell of decaying leafs - it's wonderful. I highly suggest that people go away from fall leafs for one year to realize how great the smell is.

Scanning slides - 2 down, 74 to go.

Run down of the past week:
Shipped the remainder of my stuff from SAV
Finished working at CWH
Flew home
Went to a Preserve Minneapolis morning event in one of the coolest spaces ever - Mill City Museum
Continued the anti-tv adventure - no slip ups this past week, so only 3 extra days added to the month thus far.

Movie run down thus far (not in order of viewing):
Harold and Maude - 7/10 (or 4/5 on Netflix) - good movie, Maude reminds me of the crazy hippie aunts (makes me slightly worried for the future), but it didn't age too well (in comparison to other 1970s movies)

Chinatown - 9/10 (or 5/5 on Netflix) - great movie, due to a prior viewing of The Shining, JJ Gittes = Jack Torrance, which is a little disturbing and makes the movie an interesting watch, aged far better than Harold and Maude (then again, it's a period piece).

Paper Clips - 9/10 (or 5/5 on Netflix) - great documentary about sheltered middle schoolers in rural TN learning about the Holocaust, and collecting 6,000,000 paper clips, makes you remember the concept of "love" rising out of "hate".

One Flew Over the Coocoo's Nest - 8/10 (or 5/5 on Netflix) - No summary needed, as I think I may have been one of the only people to have not seen the movie. Thought it was good - another movie that I didn't find myself checking how much more time was left in the movie (more so surprised at how quickly the time passed).

Taxi Driver - 1/10 (or 1/5 on Netflix) - Movie was so bad I didn't feel bad that I had to answer the phone and take a reservation, and then continued to check the email and call my brother. I didn't even finish it - I let the movie finish running while I did other things out of the room.

Jaws - 7/10 (or 4/5 on Netflix) - Yes, "Bruce" is slightly cheesy looking, but the acting was actually good. It seemed to age far better than some movies from the 70s - perhaps because it played into my fear of large swimming things eating me.

OT: Our Town - 7/10 (or 4/5 on Netflix) - decent documentary. Has issues in terms of camera quality - but that's what happens when you decide to film the first theatrical production at a Compton high school in 20 years: you can't be walking in with totally awesome equipment and let them suffer with not real stage/lights/costumes/theater.


more later when I get another movie (today's delivery is scheduled to be The Grapes of Wrath)

Second update on the "no tv" mission:

Slipped up this week a bit - twice in two days. Though I saw it was within reason (or perhaps weakness). First, the BF and family all left on the same day - leaving me effectivly alone in SAV - in the rain. I ate some dinner and watched an episode of CSI. Then last night, I had to watch BamBam clench the nomination - moreso, watch his speech from the Excel Center. A certain level of pride must be taken when the nominee gets to clench the nomination in your home state.

No new movies have been watched - life has just seemingly gotten in my way this past week.

I'll be extending the mission an extra day for each of these "slip ups" that I have - thus far 3.

But this mission will have to be over by July as the new season of PR will be airing starting sometime in July.

It has been 5 days... I cannot admit complete sucess - but I do not see this week as a "failure" week. The TV came on for 45 minutes sunday night because I was to tired to do anything constructive, and to awake to sleep. I remembered why I was on this mission - the TV by and large is filled with crap - crap programing, crap commercials for crap products, and other general garbage (read: reruns). The TV was also watched because wonderboy952 was watching the Hitl - History Channel about evil fish - something I greatly believe in and fear. So I had to learn that indeed, I am not the only one who fears being eaten by a Northern Pike (and that it can in fact happen). But my participation in this viewing was limited to about 15 minutes.

Graduation is this weekend - I have mixed feelings about it. I'm excited to move on to the next stage of my life, but I am quite comfortable with 9/10ths of my living situation currently (1/10th being not seeing the BF enough). Despite my hatred and disatisfaction for elements of this city, I have come to like a number of elements. Thus, mixed feelings (not quite emotions yet) about my upcomming move (T-14 days).

Because of these mixed feelings, I am asking you - dear 2 readers - to offer up some links to proof that this world is an OK place. And that despite my upcomming move placing me a good 600-700 miles away from the people who I consider my family (with the exception of a few people in the lovely windy city) that indeed, life will be OK - and perhaps even enjoyable.


Movies watched during TV adventure:
Harold and Maude - 7/10 (or 4/5 on Netflix) - good movie, Maude reminds me of the crazy hippie aunts (makes me slightly worried for the future), but it didn't age too well (in comparison to other 1970s movies)
Chinatown - 9/10 (or 5/5 on Netflix) - great movie, due to a prior viewing of The Shining, JJ Gittes = Jack Torrance, which is a little disturbing and makes the movie an interesting watch, aged far better than Harold and Maude (then again, it's a period piece).
Paper Clips - 9/10 (or 5/5 on Netflix) - great documentary about sheltered middle schoolers in rural TN learning about the Holocaust, and collecting 6,000,000 paper clips, makes you remember the concept of "love" rising out of "hate".

Next update about this TV adventure in another 5 days or so (along with another installment of the movie list).

 New plan for getting off my ass and doing things:
TV turn off month. I will continue to watch my netflix, as I have too many movies on the list (I believe I am now at a list of 497 movies) - but the TV is going off. All it shows is garbage anyways. CSI has been begining to repeat itself on SPIKE. Same with South Park and Family Guy. The challenge is going to come this summer, as I will be "bored out of my mind" (or so claims Em) - I'll have to force myself to find alternative things to fill my time.

I'll give a report on this once a week, including the things I find to pass the time. And how sucessful I am when with others.

Before this rant begins - please just remember that this is a rant - and not a statement of me going over the edge with myself. /end warning

/Begin Rant/

I am sick of the media (or "talking heads" as they have come to be known). I am sick of being told how "easy" it is to be "green" - that all it takes to make the world a better place is changing a few light bulbs, or linking your errands, or just turning your thermostat up/down a few degrees. I am sick of being told that things are this simple - and that it is all we need to do. Yes, perhaps it is all WE need to do - but that (like my job last summer) requires the participation of all parties, not just ME. And there is some debate about the true "greeness" of many of these "green" products.

I am sick of media pounding these simple "sacrifices" that we can put into our daily life - where are the "hardcore", real sacrifices? What about suggesting people keep their car home one day a WEEK (not the "don't fill up on May 8th" "protest") - even if that means they don't go somewhere? What about suggesting that people participate in TV Turnoff Week every month (or perhaps turn everything off week)? What about suggesting that people actually alter their lifestyle?

What about those of us who have adjusted our lifestyle? And not just switching our light bulbs - but actually keeping the lights off until the sun goes down, live by linking errands because it makes sense to not cross your path 12 times, or not believing in AC unless it truly is 110 in the shade. What about those of us who have made "real" "sacrifices" by not using a car 9 MONTHS out of the YEAR, those who don't really like TV (or many other electronics) all that much? What are we supposed to do? How do we "sacrifice" to save our planet? What suggestions does the media have for those of use who want to take "green" to a new level - but can't stand the idea of being a hippie that doesn't shower, and lives in the woods? What should those of us who know solar panels aren't that "green" do? Installing solar panels is not a "green" suggestion - especially when you're in rental properties.

/end rant 1/

/begin rant 2/

On a similar line as the prior rant:
I am sick of the media (or "talking heads" as they have come to be known). I am sick of being told how our country is the fattest it's ever been, and how "easy" it is to loose weight - that all it takes to get skinny is popping a few pills, or getting the fat sucked out, or walking just 100 extra steps each day. I am sick of being told that things are this simple - and that it is all we need to do, as we are all obviously fat.

I am sick of media pounding these simple "solutions" that we can put into our daily life, while playing the blame game of who is truly to blame for all of us being so fat - where are the "hardcore", real solutions? More importantly, where are the "hardcore", real discussions about personal responsibility, and personal control?  What about suggesting people stay away from all fast food- even if that means going without your no-whip, extra foam, soy, caramel macchiato? What about suggesting that people relearn to cook at home - and not just hamburger helper and other salt laden prepackaged foods? What about suggesting that people actually alter their lifestyle?

What about those of us who have "adjusted" our lifestyle? And not just cutting out one double quarter pounder with cheese a week- but actually avoiding them enough that having one is a TREAT?  What about those of us who have found "real" "solutions" by not using a car 9 MONTHS out of the YEAR - forcing us to take more than just 100 "extra" steps each day, those of us who just can't seem to gain the weight that seems to gravitate towards the hips and buttocks of all other Americans? What are we supposed to do? How do we "sacrifice" to save our lives? What suggestions does the media have for those of use who are part of the 1 in 4 that isn't fat - what do they suggest we do to avoid getting type 2 diabetes, what do they suggest we do?

I can't just escape the media - it's all around us, thanks graphic design. What are those of us who just don't fit the mold? What do they suggest we do? How do we save the planet, and save our lives when we have already done, or can't healthily take on the suggested answers, what the talking heads suggest we do do?

/end rant 2/


/end all rants for today/

In an effort to clean my room, perhaps one last time, I've decided to go through all of my cds. I have to ask "what the hell was I thinking" for a number of the songs on these cds. Though for a number of others, I'm finding myself standing at my computer dancing around to such things as Down With the Sickness and So Far Away.

I don't know what this means. Besides that perhaps my music library isn't as stilted as many seem to believe - it's just that you have to dig a bit deeper. Perhaps for a fear that people might find out that I do indeed listen to some of this music... and yet, have an extremely limited "hardcore" past. And by limited, we all know I mean "non-existant"

Seeing as it has been made apparent to me that my music library and general pop culture knowledge are extremely limited, I am now taking suggestions for the following:

Music: Non-musical, non-radio hit (I have tons radio "hits" from supposedly "good" bands but nothing to know if they're really that "good"), non-Aerosmith (full library already owned), non-country (real or "crossover") - Basically I am in need of anything that will expand my music repertoire, as I am inept at selecting "good" music that other people can stand listening to.

Movies: Anything that is of value. I would, at some point be able to watch a movie (non-documentary) and be able to actually tell people "Hey, you should watch this" and not be told "I already have, I thought it was good". I've found that Netflix does have a 500 movie limit for your queue, I will cross reference any suggestions with what is already on my maxed out queue.

Books: Seeing as how I haven't really finished a book in near four years (with the exception for rereading The Alchemist on a cross country flight from San Francisco to DC, completing ONE book for Literature by Women, and Animal Farm this past summer), I guess I'm pretty much open to anything.

Comics: I can't talk comics with anyone. I know basic facts - if that (I know who Stan Lee is, and that he created Spiderman, I know that J. Scott Campbell did Danger Girl, and that's about it... with a bit more known thanks to hollywood). It wouldn't be important, but I would like to be able to contribute to conversations that the BF and his friends have without sounding like Jim Gaffigan on Dr. Katz.

Things to do: I only HAVE to work about 20 hours per week, leaving me lots of time to explore Savannah and become more "cultured" (if it's even possible in this city) - if I only knew what I should do.

today is a sad day in my world - a day that I never expected to see.

today, I ran out of pasta.

I say holy update - but because there has been nothing to update about (and there is STILL NOTHING to update about) I haven't written in here since November.

So all this means is that I'm still uncertain of my future. I am supposed to know my future by the 15th. Somehow this last week is harder than the other weeks of waiting. I guess cause I know an answer could, in theory, come at any point.

Nothing else is new. Life goes on at the CWH, I don't know when I am moving - it all depends on the cost of flying, the cost of shipping all my shit, getting rid of the extra stuff that I really don't want to ship, and when the bosses will let me leave.

I wish I had some sort of answer - either from school, or work, or whatever.

Laters

Well, in light of it being commencement time, I feel the following dialogue is an appropo summary of my feelings:

Nevermind. It's not to important, and it wouldn't get the point across. And those who need to know, already do know.

Maybe one day I'll get smart about my friends.

Here is my prescription for utter amusement during finals. Just try it, I dare you.

Sit in or at the edge of a busy hallway at any SCAD academic building just before the end of the quarter and play "Nearer My God To Thee" from Titanic while watching people scurry past you, just like they do trying to avoid dying on the Titanic.

I'm a sick twisted individual... And that's ok with me.

Well, it's finals. And I'm stressed. I haven't done the work I should have all quarter - and it seems a fair number of people are in my boat - which makes things interesting because I don't want these people to be cramping my style.
Finals always seem to bring out the best procrastinator in all of us - Heidi has her habit of picking up a new book to read... I seem to be thinking that applying to grad school would be a great idea - failing to realize that not passing my classes would make these applications a moot point, so perhaps I should work on passing my classes.

Ok, that's enough procrastinating. Though there is always the fact that the house needs to be cleaned... NO - that's not my job anymore. I'm not going to be the only one working on it. Heck - who even knows how much I'll be home. Perhaps things will get done without "mommy" being there... Or there is always next friday.

I may not be graduating, but I do have my own stress of getting things togeather. Which reminds me - I need to turn off the gas in the house.

Ok, I took the quiz. And it won't quite load...
so here's the text:

You are both very organized. You almost always know where your belongings are and you prefer things neat. You may even enjoy cleaning and find it therapeutic. Bert is a big neat freak and gets quite annoyed when Ernie makes a big mess.

You both are sometimes concrete and sometimes abstract thinkers. Bert is probably a bit more concrete in his bottlecap collecting addiction and his love of the weather. He does show his abstract side when he sings and performs his "Doin' The Pidgeon" song. You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires... within limits of course.

You are both somewhat introverted. Bert is probably more introverted, because he spends most of his time either with Ernie or alone. Still he has no problem being around other people in his role as chairman of "The National Association of 'W' Lovers." Like Bert, you probably like to have some time to yourself, but you do appreciate spending time with your friends, and you aren't scared of social situations.

Actually, there isn't all the much to update about.
The house still needs to be cleaned.
I'm still holding down the same jobs as I was.
I'm still missing polka land (and the puppy).
I'm still working on the grad school applications.
I'm still listening to polka.

Wow. My life is kind of sad. It's been nearly a month and a half between this post and the last one, and nothing has really changed in my life. But I'm content with that.